Now Your Gone
by darkwoodsdreamer
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru have never needed anyone but each other. It was always them and everyone else. So, when Kaoru dies in a car accident, how will Hikaru deal with it? And who will he turn to? Rated T for minor language
1. Chapter 1

Hikaru's POV

I was sitting on the couch, waiting for Kaoru to come home. I was listening to one of our favorite songs. I always listen to it when I'm angry or upset because it helps me calm down, Kaoru too. Normally, we don't do anything without the other, but today Boss said he wanted to talk to Kaoru about something alone.

"_It's alright, Hikaru. Go on home. I'll be home soon. It'll only be a few minutes. I might even catch up with you on the way." Kaoru gave me a reassuring smile. _

"_Bu—oh, alright. I guess I'll see you later, then." I waved and turned to head out the door._

"_Thanks, Hikaru. I won't be too long." He turned to Boss and asked in a low voice, "So, what did you want to talk about?" I closed the door. If Boss didn't want me to hear, I guess I'd just leave and ask Kaoru what he said at home. _

I glanced at my watch. He sure was taking a while. _Could something have happened to him?_ I thought. _I better try his cell._ I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. It was answered immediately.

"Hello? This is Sergeant Kikuchi of the Iwate Prefecture. Did you know the man carrying this cellphone?" a rough voice asked. _What the hell? What's going on?_

"Uh… yeah. Why?" I asked. If something happened to Kaoru, I would never forgive myself for not being there to protect him.

"Tell me, what was you relationship with this man?" Kikuchi demanded.

"I'm his twin brother." I answered. Had Kaoru been arrested or something? Or maybe he had been in a car accident? Had someone attacked him? Was he alright? I couldn't stop the racing thoughts. I was aching to ask what had happened, but I decided it was probably better if I waited for him to tell me. A police officer could arrest me for being disrespectful, if they truly wanted to.

"Is there an adult home I could speak with?" Kikuchi asked, his rough business voice that spoke as if he didn't ever feel emotion gave me the chills.

"No, nobody's here." Of course, that was a lie. I could have him speak to one of the maids, but I wanted to him to tell me, not them.

There was a sigh from the other line. That sent up a red flag for me. Something was definitely wrong, I could feel it. "Listen, kid… ah, I hate doing this… Your brother, you said he was, well… he was hit by a car." Kikuchi said, compassion coming into his voice for the first time. I nearly dropped the phone. He had to be joking. This was a joke. This couldn't be happening, it wasn't real!

"What?" was the most I could manage.

"He… he was pronounced dead at the scene. I'm terribly sorry." Kikuchi's voice broke, and he momentarily stopped talking. "If you'd like, I can get you in to see his body. I don't know if you'll really want to though." He paused, waiting for a response.

My body was numb. I wasn't thinking, feeling, seeing, hearing. All I knew was I was falling. Falling and falling. A voice rang out through the void. _Hello? Hello? Anyone there?_ I tried to call back out to it, but nothing came. My vision blurred, then went black, leaving behind the voices that called to me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed on my last chapter! I wasn't very confident about that chapter, so your positive reviews helped! I hope you enjoy this! R&R!**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

I woke in a hospital bed. There was one other person in there with me, but they were fast asleep. It was a girl with long black hair and pale skin, paler than the moon. I could tell she was really sick by all the monitors plus the breathing apperatus she was hooked up to. It occurred to me I might look the same way suddenly. I glanced down, afraid of what I might see, but was instantly relieved. I had a pulse monitor attached to my finger, but that was all. I could hear the _beep, beep, beep_ of the heart monitor. It was soothing, made me feel sleepy again. I couldn't remember how I ended up here, but that didn't bother me. All that mattered now was getting back to sleep. I turned on my side, and fell into another deep, dreamless sleep.

Kaoru's POV

_I'm floating. _I was on a bridge that was typically busy, but there were no cars now. _That's odd._ I thought. _Hey, wait a second. Where's Tamaki?_ I remembered that Tamaki had been in the car with me. Where was he now? As if to answer my question, I heard him scream. I couldn't understand what he was saying except for my name, over and over. Did something happen? _Well, no duh. Would you be floating if there wasn't?_ All of a sudden it hit me. Floating. Dead? I couldn't be, no I wasn't. If I was dead, Hikaru would be too. _No, wait, he's home. I told him to go home without me._ "Fuck!" I shouted. It didn't really sound like a shout I was used to though. It sounded strange, as though I was yelling through a long tunnel. The minute I thought of Hikaru, I appeared by his side. I could hear him talking on his cell phone.

"I'm his twin brother." I heard Hikaru say into the phone, a hint of confusion in his voice. A pause.

"No, no one's home." A lie. He could have given the phone to one of the maids, like he knew he was supposed too. Of course, Hikaru wouldn't do that. He would want the person to tell him directly.

Hikaru's face crumpled, a mix of shock and pain, "What?" he stammered, and I knew it was a police officer telling him about me. Instantly felt horrible that I had just gone and died on him like that. I mean, what right did I have to do that to him? I hated myself.

Hikaru dropped the phone and fainted. His head slammed against the coffee table. "Hikaru!" I shouted, rushing to his side. I tried to touch him, but no matter how hard I tried, my hand went right through him. _Shit. Shit shit shit shit. I can't DO anything!_ I didn't hear anyone on the stairs or in the hall, which must mean that no one had heard. I floated up through the ceiling, frantically searching for a maid to come call an ambulance. A young girl, who was new, was just coming out of our room. "Hikaru? It's time for dinner! What would you like?" She called down the stairs. I sighed in relief. Now I knew she would find him and he would be safe. I felt relief beyond anything I had felt before. _Maybe it would be okay to go on… to the next world now. _The minute I thought it, I felt a rushing and I tore up through the house and into the house. _Well, I guess this is goodbye now. _I looked down, listened to the wail of the sirens on the ambulance._ See you in the next life… Hikaru._ And with that I looked up, waiting for my first glimpse of what was to come.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry I haven't updated in a few days! I haven't had any chance to come on the computer at all, since my mom has been making me clean. (ughh…) So, here's chapter 3, hope you like it! R&R!**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

When I woke up again, It was 9 in the morning. A nurse was in the room, checking my roommate's monitors. I turned to her and asked, "Excuse me ma'am, but where am I?"

She gave me a sympathizing, yet slightly annoyed smile that annoyed me. Of course, I couldn't blame her. She probably had amnesia patients ask her the same thing every day. It must be tiring.

"You're in Tokyo Hospital." She said calmly and loudly, as though she assumed I couldn't hear her or was incredibly stupid just because I was in the hospital. _Hospital? _I thought to myself _What the hell am I doing here? _

"Why? What happened to me?" Even if I really did know, I probably still would have asked just to push her buttons, but I honestly had no idea.

"Well… according to your file, you had a concussion." She said in the same annoyingly loud and obnoxious voice. "Your only here for supervision, and you're being let out at 4:00 this afternoon." She gave a short bow and exited the room. _But how did I get the concussion?_ I thought back. The last thing I remembered before waking up here was talking on the phone to… to a police officer… from the Iwate prefecture… Kikucho? No, Kikuchi. About what? About… a car accident… Kaoru? Kaoru had been in a car accident! I bolted up. I had to find out if he was oka—and then I remembered what the Kikuchi-san said to me. _He… he was pronounced dead at the scene… I'm terribly sorry. _No… no he wasn't dead. I looked around for something I could call the doctor with. I had to hear it from a doctor. Maybe… maybe it was just a bad dream I had last night. I pressed a button that said call doctor on it. A doctor came running in.

"Hitachiin-sama! Is anything wrong?" A young male doctor, maybe in his 30's, came running into the room. I felt a little guilty at first. That button must only be for emergencies, judging from his reaction.

"My brother! What happened to him? Do you know? He didn't die, did he?" The doctor looked puzzled.

"Brother? I'm sorry, I didn't know he was under our care. Since you're an immediate family member, I guess I could find out and get back to you, but I'll need a full name." The doctor offered.

"Oh, right… K-Kaoru, Kaoru Hitachiin." I said, stammering.

"Okay… I'll be right back." The doctor took a quick note of his name and left the room. I laid back on my pillows. There was nothing I could do now but wait for the news. I had a horrible feeling in my stomach. I couldn't be sure of the response he would give me when he got back, but something was telling me it wouldn't be good.

The seconds ticked by, but the felt like minutes. Every step I heard go by in the hallway, my ears perked up and I sat up strait, hoping it would be the doctor carrying news. After awhile, I started to just hope he would come back with news. I didn't even care if it was good or bad, I just wanted news.

When he finally came back, his face was crestfallen. My heart sank. Although I suspected from the start it would be bad, I didn't really want bad news.

"I'm terribly sorry… I looked up your brother on the database… it seems he was pronounced dead at the scene. I'm sorry for your loss." He shuffled out of the room. I felt a little bad. Even though as a doctor he must face death every day, the death of a patient must feel like a failure to him.

I collapsed on the bed. I wasn't really feeling right now. My body was numb. I was glad, though, since I couldn't feel the pain I knew that would come from losing my brother and best friend.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, again, sorry I haven't updated in so long, but now I have. Last time I was on I spent my whole time reading instead of writing… oops. Oh well. So, enjoy, R&R, and all that good stuff**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

By the time 4:00 came around, I was so ready to get out of the hospital you can't even imagine. The hospital smelled like chlorine pools mixed with Pinesol. But even worse than that were the people in there. They were all moaning and groaning the entire time, so much it made me sick after only a few minutes. And the horrible sinking feeling you get when you realize one of them has gone silent? I was done. I probably set a world record with how fast I ran out there.

"So, you're about done here, I just need you to sign a few forms before you leave." Said the obnoxious nurse from before. "Just sign right here…. And here…. And here…." I swear I was about to slap her. It wasn't like I was mentally impaired. I know how to sign a stupid form. I was tempted to say to her, "I refuse to sign this until I see my lawyer." But then again, she might have forced me to stay here while I waited, and all I wanted was to get as far away from this place as physically possible.

The ride home was an hour long, giving me plenty of time to think. I spent the whole time thinking about Kaoru, and all our memories. The first time we met Tamaki, the first time we walked through the doors of Music Room 3, the first time we met Haruhi, the first time we actually used the "brotherly love" act, when we tricked Haruhi into letting us come to her house by pretending to fight. Just thinking about it I started to tear up. That really surprised the driver. And I mean really surprised him, to the point where you'd think he's never seen anyone cry. Finally, I got a hold of myself, and a few minutes later I was home.

When I walked through the door, I sort of expected Mom and Dad to be home. You know, when your son dies, you typically take some personal time off work. But no, work is way too important for them. _What loving parents we—I mean, I have…_ I thought, and started to cry all over again.

I walked into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. On the counter, there was a note. _Strange,_ I thought. _Mom and Dad never leave notes._

_Dear Hikaru,_

_I feel horrible for not being there for you right now, but you have to understand. I have a very important meeting today that could decide the future of my career. I'll be home at the usual time. Don't worry about getting to bed on time. You can stay up to wait for me. I want to be able to talk to you about it._

_Your father is on a business trip and will be back in a few days._

_Love you,_

_Mother_

I crumpled up the note and threw it in the trash. I couldn't understand it, but I really didn't want to. She was the most insensitive person I had ever met! I mean, come on. I can't come cry over my son's death with you today, I have work. Sorry. What a bitch!

I went upstairs to our room - I still considered it our room – and collapsed on my bed. I wasn't really thinking. I just stared at the ceiling. I decided to call Tamaki. I don't really know why, maybe I wanted support. But I called.

"Hello?" Tamaki answered.

"…"

"Hikaru? Is that you? Listen, I'm so so so sorry, Hikaru. I was the one driving. Did they tell you that? They must have. It's all my fault. You're calling to yell at me, aren't you? I wouldn't be surprised if you never talked to me again. I'm so so—" He rambled. Eventually, I had to interrupt him.

"I didn't know it was you who was driving. I didn't call because of that." I said quietly. The weakness in my own voice surprised me.

"… you didn't? Oh… well, you know now. So, what did you call for?" He asked, his voice slightly more relieved, but still sounded horribly stressed.

"…"

"Hikaru?"

"… I don't know."

"You… you don't know?" He asked incredulously.

"No."

"Well, I'm here for you if you ever need me. You know that don't you? Hikaru?"

"Thanks, Tamaki." I said, my voice on the verge of breaking. I hung up. I didn't know what else to say, so I just hung up. I flopped back on my bed. Not until I was laying down did I realize how completely exhausted I was. I was asleep within 5 minutes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so here is the 5th chapter of Now Your Gone. I hope everyone is enjoying it so far! This took me a long time to upload because Fanfiction was being really slow and bitchy, but it's ok now. It's all fixed. Originally, it was a lot longer, but I decided to shorten it up and put the actual funeral scene in the next story. I thought it would make it flow better. I don't know if what I was thinking worked, though. Tell me in the reviews: should I have added the funeral scene or is it good I waited to put it in the next chapter? One more thing, and then you can read the story. Just to let you know, I have no idea how this is going to end. I'm really just playing it by ear, so I have no clue how many chapters this will run for. I didn't even think it would make it this far at first. Remember to R&R! Now I'm just rambling, so I'll let you read the next chapter now.**.. =)

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

I woke up at 10 in the morning. That was really late for me. Kaoru and I, we always got up early, so this was different for me. But of course, Kaoru was always the one who woke up first, and if it weren't for him I would never get up. But now that he wasn't here anymore...

_No,_ I thought. _Don't think about that. You'll only depress yourself._ I dressed quickly and went downstairs to make some breakfast. Of course, I could always have one of the servants for me, but lately I had taken to doing it myself. It just made me feel better, gave me a chance to concentrate and take my mind off of things for a while. It was actually really calming.

When I got down the stairs, Mother was already up and at the table with coffee. She looked up when she heard my footsteps on the floor.

"Oh, good morning, Hikaru. Did you sleep well?" She asked, even though she had obviously not herself.

"I suppose, as good a sleep as I could expect. And yourself?" I realized I was being a little overly formal, but I couldn't help it. I never really saw her, so it was only natural to me. Though, I could see it pained her a little more now. The hurt in her eyes when I spoke like that was worse now when I knew what she must be going through right now.

"Me? Fine. When do you think you will be ready to return to school? I don't want you to be out to long, but I don't want you to go back until your ready…" Only now did I realize that her voice was so quiet I had to strain my ears just to hear her.

"I'll go back tomorrow." I said. She looked up, surprised at my answer.

"Tomorrow? Are you sure that's not too soon? You don't have to force yourself."

"No, it's fine. I want to." I didn't want her to worry. Too much stress, especially at a time like this, wasn't good for her. I got up and left the table. I could feel her eyes on my back, watching me leave. All of a sudden, I wasn't hungry at all. I went back to my room. I couldn't take it, being around her right now. Honestly, I think she looks like us, even though no one has ever said we do. Mother reminds me too much of Kaoru, and it's too hard for me to be around her right now. I wonder if she herself thought the same thing, looking at me? Was she choking back tears, biting her lip and trying not to cry, looking at me?

_The Next Day…_

I looked in the mirror, straitening my tie, before picking up my cell phone and dialing Tamaki's number.

"Moshi moshi?"

"It's me. You ready?"

"Yeah. I'll be outside waiting for you." Tamaki replied. I could tell by his voice he had been crying earlier. I couldn't even imagine how hard it must have been on him, being the one who had been driving the car that Kaoru had died in. I guess if things hadn't just been going in one ear and out the other when he told me, I would have been mad, but I wasn't, so I'm not. I wouldn't want to lose a friend over it either.

"Alright, we'll be over in a few. And Tamaki?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything. You know, for all your support. I guess." It felt awkward to be thanking him for anything. Tamaki was normally pretty useless. I chuckled at the thought. If Tamaki noticed, he didn't say anything.

"Yeah… I mean, your welcome. Y-you too. I guess." I couldn't help but smile. We were both so awkward.

I hung up the phone and got in the car. Just the thought of going to Kaoru's funeral, seeing him for the last time, and afterwards he would be buried in the ground where worms and who knows what else would eat his body, turning him into dirt… I didn't want to have to accept that that was what was going to happen to my brother… the only person I'd ever needed. I turned and looked out the window. With him gone, what was I going to do? What would happen to me now? Who could possibly support me the way he did?


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, now were getting somewhere. I feel like the last few chapters have been all building up to this moment. This actually would never had happened without my friend, Iceland, who actually came up with a rough version of the idea behind this chapter (mostly as a joke, probably, but oh well) which turned into this, so you can all thank her for this story getting slightly more interesting since it's been getting a little boring. **

Haruhi's POV

I heard voices, beeping, disconnected sounds that made no sense. I felt heavy, as though there were a pile of bricks on my chest. My eyelids, felt glued shut, but I forced them open. There was a nurse holding me up, brushing my hair and whispering to me. It didn't feel like I was sitting, it still felt like I was laying down.

When she realized I was awake, she gasped and almost dropped me. "Careful." I managed to mumble. She smiled at me.

"Of course. Your probably feeling broken enough, huh?"

"Your telling me." I mumbled back. Every word was a strain.

"I'm going to get the doctor." She said, her voice high and sweet. She carefully laid me back down on the bed and left the room. I almost fell back asleep, but I decided that wouldn't be a good idea. If the doctor came and found me asleep, the nurse might get in trouble for wasting the doctors time.

A few minutes later, the doctor came back. He smiled at me, the same smile the nurse gave me. His black hair fell in front of his eyes, making me wonder how it was possible he could see me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me, walking quietly over to my bed.

"Crappy."

He laughed. "You'll feel better in a few days." He started to check the machines that monitored my heart beat and who knows what else. It looked so confusing it was a wonder the nurses and doctors made any sense of it.

"Let's hope so." Talking was getting easier the more I did it. All of a sudden I realized I was hungry. "When can I eat?"

He laughed again, a high rich sounding laugh. Just hearing his laugh helped to perk me up. "Soon. If fact, if everything looks fine, you can eat once I'm done."

"Good. I'm starving." After a few minutes, he finished checking all my machines and turned to face me.

"Well, everything looks good. I'll Nurse Hamada here to bring you a little something." He gave me a gentle smile and left the room.

The nurse followed him out and returned a few minutes later with a tray of food. She sat with me as I choked it all down in under 2 minutes, then asked, "Is there anyone you would like to call? We already let your father know, and he said he'd be here today. Is there someone else?"

The first person I thought of was Tamaki. But I wasn't sure if I should. I couldn't be sure he wasn't doing something now. _He'd kill me if he found out I called anyone else._ I thought, chuckling. The nurse gave me a strange look. I smiled at her.

"I'd like to call my friend Suoh Tamaki."

The nurse looked startled. "Suoh? As in, the headmaster of Ouran Academy's son?" I was puzzled as to how she knew that, but I didn't let it show. I simply kept smiling.

"Yes. Do you have the number?"

"Y-yes, I mean no, but I know how to get it. I'll be right back." She got up and quickly left the room. It wasn't even a minute before she was back with the a slip of paper.

"This is his number. Would you like some privacy?"

"Yes, thank you." She left the room and went into another patients room across the hall.

I dialed Tamaki's cell phone number. The number she gave me was his house number, which I knew I had no chance of reaching him at. I waited for him to pick up, wondering if he would flip out when I got on the phone and told him where I was.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Hey. It's Haruhi."

"Haruhi! Where are you?"

"Um… in the hospital." His question surprised me. I couldn't remember being obligated to go anywhere, so why would he ask me that?

"What? What the hell happened to put you in the hospital?" He said it as though it must be my fault that someone had put me in the hospital.

"I got in a car accident. I think I was in a coma."

"WHO IN THE HELL DID THIS TO MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER?" He screamed. God, I hoped he wasn't in a public place right now.

"I don't know."

"Well, when was it?"

I told him the date and I heard him choke.

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Oh, no reason… where was it? The crash, I mean."

"The Akashi Kaikyo bridge." I was confused. His voice sounded strained, like he already knew something I didn't, something he didn't _want _me to know.

I heard him mumbling under his breath, then, "Haruhi, I'm gonna have to call you back."

"Yeah, okay." He hung up.

_That was strange._ I thought. _What is with him today?_ I didn't even have time to try to figure it out, because my cell rang. It was Hikaru this time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Well, here's the next chapter. Again, Hikaru's POV. Nothing to really say about this. I don't really know where it's going to go from here, so it may be a while before I update since I have no idea what's going to happen after this. So, yeah. R&R and all that good stuff. UchihaSasuke101 out.**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

When Tamaki told me, I didn't even have time to be shocked. Whenever I imagined the driver in the other car, I always thought of some drunk with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, jabbing away on his cell phone, not thinking or caring about anyone else on the road. I never even thought it could have been Haruhi… not her… I only had a split second to process this before Tamaki had shoved his cell phone into my hands, already ringing, fear in his eyes.

"Talk to her. And then please tell me it wasn't really her." His voice was shaking, along with the rest of his body.

I nodded. I didn't want to believe him that Haruhi was the one in the other car. I had to prove it wasn't her. I would do anything just to be able to tell myself it wasn't.

"Moshi moshi?" I heard her voice say. I almost melted on the floor. She sounded so weak.

"H-hey, Haruhi, it's Hikaru." I stuttered. "How are you feeling?"

She laughed. "As good as I could hope to feel, I suppose." I smiled. At least she was cheerful.

"Where was the crash?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Though, compared to Tamaki, anything I did would sound casual.

"The Akashi Kaikyo bridge." She responded.

I covered the mouthpiece and turned to Tamaki. "Akashi Kaikyo bridge?" I whispered, trying not to let Haruhi hear me. He nodded, a vigorous nod.

"Hmmm… what time was it?" I asked. I realized that asking something like that didn't really sound casual, but I had to try.

"Why?" Damn. The way she said it, you could definitely tell she was getting suspicious. "Hold on, did Sempai put you up to this?"

I started to panic. "No way. I just want to make sure you haven't been eating that crap they call food at hospitals." My voice sounded surprisingly cool and collected for what was really running through my head.

She laughed again, lifting my spirits. "That's so like you. Right after club activities. I was on my way to the store. I forgot to pick up things for dinner." That did it. I quite literally stopped breathing. I sat down hard, where I had previously thought a chair was. Until I actually tried to sit in it. I ended up falling on the floor, right on my butt. I would have laughed at myself if the circumstances were different.

This made it official: single worst week of my life. My brother dies, then I find out one of my best friends was in the other car. I couldn't comprehend it. I was so dazed, I couldn't think straight. A faint voice came out of nowhere, a female voice. _Hikaru?_ It called. _Hikaru? Are you there? What's wrong?_ Finally, Tamaki shook me out of it and grabbed the phone from my hands. "Haruhi, I think he's gonna have to call you back. I'll talk to you later." He hung up and kneeled down next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You gonna be okay?" I shook my head.

"Not anytime soon." I replied, my voice shaking. I rose to my legs, not trusting them to hold me. I walked to the room with the coffin. When I got there, I just couldn't hold myself up any longer. I collapsed in front of Kaoru's body, tears streaming down my face. My parents looked at each other and nodded. My father got up and left. Once he was gone, Mother came to my side and knelt next, placing an arm around my shoulders.

"Just know I'm here for you whenever you need me." I ducked my head, the tears coming faster now. She got up and followed Father out of the room. It was empty now except for me and my brother's body. I couldn't bring myself to get up at first. I stayed their, not able to stop the tears no matter how much I tried. After a few minutes, I was able to drag myself off the floor and walk long enough to go sit next to the coffin.

"Listen, Kaoru. I just… I just want you to know… were all going to really miss you. You know…" I sniffed and wiped the tears from my eyes. "… everyone at the Host Club. And all our customers. How do you expect me to do the brotherly love act without you, huh? Man, this… this sucks!" The extreme grief I was feeling suddenly turned to anger. "Fuck this! This just god-damned sucks!" I stood and punched the wall, leaving a large, fist-shaped dent. Tamaki and Father rushed in, and grabbed me.

"Hikaru, stop it!" Tamaki shouted. His voice made me freeze, brought me back to myself. I looked around at the small crowd that had gathered, staring at me with mouths hanging open. I looked back at Kaoru's coffin.

"Fuck this." I wrenched myself away from Tamaki and Father who still had me pinned against the wall and stormed across the room. I got all the way to the car before I lost it. I broke down in sobs holding the car door handle. Hunny, who was just arriving, kneeled down next to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"It'll be alright, Hikaru-kun. It'll be alright." He got up and walked inside, Mori following close behind. I started to laugh despite myself. That kid was such an ass.


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, chapter 8 is finally here. I feel like this is going to be one of the most important chapters, along with the chapter 9. I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope to be able to finish this in 15 - 20 chapters, even though I don't have a firmly set ending yet. Enjoy, and R&R!**

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

"Haruhi, I think he's gonna have to call you back." Tamaki said. I heard a dial tone and took the phone away from my ear, staring at it with a dazed look. A few minutes later, I got a text from Hikaru.

_Sorry bout that. When do u get out? We need to talk…_

_Soon. This afternoon, 3 oclock. _

_I'll come pick u up. We can talk on the way_

_Way to where?_

I waited several minutes for a response, but none came. I collapsed back on my pillow. What did he want to talk about? And where was he bringing me? It didn't make any sense. Hikaru wasn't one for secrets. He always said what was on his mind. A nurse came into the room to check my machines.

"So, how are you feeling?" The nurse asked, speaking unnecessarily loud and slow.

"Fine." I answered shortly, trying to sound cross. I wanted her to just leave me alone. All the nurses were annoying, thinking that I was stupid or something the way they talked to me. The funny thing is, though, in the Brain Damage Ward, they don't even bother talking to the patients when they are the ones who need someone to talk to the most. They probably know things are never going to be the same for them again.

My strategy didn't work. "Well, you sure don't sound fine. Did someone upset you?" She asked, looking at me with an expression of being concerned, as though I didn't know she really didn't care.

"I told you, I'm fine. This stupid hospital is putting me in a bad mood." I looked away, hoping she would get the message. She smiled at me, showing all her teeth.

"Well, luck you; you're getting out this afternoon! The doctor has already signed off on it, so you're good to go!" She flashed me another smile and left the room. I breathed a sigh of relief. God, I hated nurses.

I went back to my thoughts. I tried to think of everything he could possibly want to talk about. I thought back to that summer in Karuizawa, when we went on our first date. Did he want to talk about getting together? The very thought made me squirm. Not that Hikaru was a bad guy or anything, but, seeing as it was a known fact that I was with Tamaki…. Well, things could get awkward.

But if that was it, where would he be taking me? Maybe to a restaurant? Where would someone go to make a love confession? When you read about it in books or see it on T.V., the guy always pulls the girl away from the crowd and tells her. Or he shows up at her house with a big bouquet of flowers. Something like that. I imagined Hikaru arriving at the hospital with a huge bouquet of flowers and knocking on the door. A confused nurse comes to open it and sees the flowers and gets excited, thinking they're for her… I started to laugh at the thought of how awkward it would get.

Before I knew it, an hour had gone by and Hikaru was due to pick me up any moment. A nurse walked in with a plastic bag full of clothes. I opened it up and started to pull things out.

"Wait a second!" I called after the nurse, who was just leaving. She turned to look at me.

"I hope the clothing is okay?" She asked me.

"No, that's not it. It's great, but… where are my clothes?" I asked. I held up the shirt and waved it a little. The nurse blushed.

"Oh, those… well, when we pulled you out of the wreck, your clothes were… well, they were ruined. We got that for you instead. Otherwise, you would have had to leave in a hospital gown.

"Oh." I looked down at the clothes in the bag. "Well, thank you. They're very nice." Very nice was an understatement. They were very expensive looking, yet casual at the same time. They were amazing. I couldn't believe any hospital would buy these for me.

"Don't thank me. Thank a certain 'K.O.'. When he heard you were hurt, he immediately had you transferred here. Without our advanced technology, you would have been stuck in Tokyo Hospital for quite a few weeks." I was stunned. 'K.O.' certainly stood for Kyoya Ootori. I thought back to the day when I saw him at the Expo Center.

"_You go to so much trouble to make everyone think your selfish when being a nice guy comes so easily to you. It seems counter intuitive."_

I smiled. I knew that was all an act.

After I finished dressing, Hikaru stepped into the room. He seemed down, like he had just been crushed. He had circles under his eyes, so I could tell he hadn't been sleeping well. This was much more serious than a love confession.

"Are you ready?" He asked. His voice was soft and monotone, which was very unusual for him. For either of the twins, really.

"Yeah." I responded. "Where did you want to take me?" He didn't respond. He simply turned around to head outside.

"Let's go."

"Oh. A-alright." I was worried now. Was it something I had done?

We walked to the car in silence. I had mentally prepared myself for what his car would be like, but I wasn't thinking it would be anything like this. It was a 2011 Porsche, but beyond that I couldn't tell anything about it. It was painted a deep green.

"Nice car." I managed to say before stepping in.

"Thanks. It's a 2011 Porsche 911 Turbo S. Brand new." The words 'brand new' seemed to choke him up a bit. He didn't say anything else for a few minutes, which made me start to worry.

"Hey, is everything alright?" I asked, concern in my voice.

"No, everything is not alright, Haruhi." He snapped. It took me by surprise and I jumped. He exhaled. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. So, do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

He exhaled again. When he spoke, I could only barely understand him. "Haruhi, Kaoru… Kaoru is dead."

The last thing I remember is watching the tears stream down his face as my jaw dropped open and everything went black.


	9. Chapter 9

**Honestly, I don't think this chapter turned out very good. I was hoping to squish more into this chapter, but that didn't happen. So, what was suppose to take to chapters is now taking 3. *sigh* Well, nothing I can really do. It was starting to get to long. One of the reasons I think this story is going downhill is because I'm working on two stories of entirely different genres and plot lines. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to put The Blackmail Games on hold while I work on this. So, once again, I apologize for this sucky chapter and say to look forward to next chapter in which, hopefully, more exciting things will happen. R&R and all that good stuff.**

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

I couldn't have been out for more than a few seconds, because when I woke up Hikaru was still driving, the tears still running down his face. I felt dizzy and dazed, far away, as though I was watching this on T.V.

"Are you okay?" Hikaru asked me, his voice shaking.

"I'm fine. It's me who should be asking you that." I said. My voice was quiet and weak. I was afraid he hadn't heard me until he responded.

"No, I don't think I am okay. Not yet, anyway. But maybe someday." He said, lifting one hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks. I couldn't quite comprehend the fact that I would never see him again. He was gone, and he wasn't coming back. There was no more Hikaru and Kaoru. Now it was Hikaru and the late Kaoru. I felt my face dampen with tears.

"H-how?" I heard myself ask. I was surprised I had asked, because I wasn't really sure I wanted to know. I had a bad feeling that I really didn't want to know what had happened to him.

"Do you really want to know?" He sighed. The horrible feeling in my gut got worse. "I didn't want to have to tell you. Honestly, I was hoping you wouldn't even think to ask me that." He took a deep breath and gripped the steering wheel harder.

"It was a car crash. Right after club activities. He drove home with Boss because he wanted to talk to him alone. It happened on the Akashi Kaikyo Bridge. He died instantly." His voice cracked on the last sentence.

My heart almost stopped. I couldn't see, think, breathe. I felt myself fall back against the seat as the truth of the matter hit me. It was me. It was me. I did it, it was all my fault. I looked back at Hikaru and said the only thing I could get out of my mouth.

"No."

"Haruhi, it's okay, I don't—"

"No."

"—blame you, the detectives said –"

"No. I…"

"Are you listening to me?" Hikaru asked. His words were harsh, pulling me out of my trance.

"What?" I asked, confused. How was he talking to me so civilly like this? I killed his brother! How the hell could he just sit here and talk to me like this! I suddenly realized I was sobbing, but I didn't care. I just let them come.

"I said it wasn't you're fault." Hikaru said again. His calm demeanor was making me feel worse about myself. I wasn't quite absorbing what he was saying. My responses were all but automatic.

"Of course it w-was my f-fault. S-stop trying to m-make me feel better." I said between sobs. I doubted he could understand what I was saying. I surprised me when he actually responded.

"No, it wasn't. Listen to me."

"No!"

"Haruhi, just—"

"No! I won't! You shouldn't even want to talk to me right now. I killed your brother! Why are you being so nice to me!" I screamed at him. All this anger I hadn't even realized I had found its way out. It was so out of character for me I didn't realize I had done it at first. I didn't let him see that I had surprised even me though.

He looked stunned and sat there, just staring at me like an idiot. The frustration coursed through me, making it impossible for me to sit there in the same proximity with him a moment longer. I threw the car door open and stepped out. Shooting him one last glare, I slammed the door and stalked off. I started walking. I knew this area, as I passed through it frequently, and knew of a shopping complex not far off. There, I could call for a cab or something to take me home. Anything to stay away from Hikaru.

After a few strides, I heard Hikaru start the car and drive at a snail's pace next to me. He rolled down the window and called over.

"Haruhi, would you just give me one fucking second?" I stopped and turned to glare at him through the open window, my hands on my hips.

"Why should I? I killed your brother, the only person you've ever really been able to open up to, and here you are _forgiving_ me?" He looked unfazed, almost amused.

"Haruhi, I keep trying to tell you, it wasn't you're fault." I stared, bewildered.

"What do you mean, it wasn't my fault? How could it not have been my fault? I was driving the other car, wasn't I? Unless you mean to tell me it was Kaoru who was driving and caused the crash?"

"That's just it, Kaoru wasn't driving. The Boss was. I told you, he was driving home with the Boss after club activities." I couldn't keep the shock from my face. I knew Sempai had been with him when he called me, so had he forgiven him for causing the crash? Or had he found out then?

"Wait, so it was _Tamaki?_ I don't believe that." I said doubtingly. Sempai was an idiot, but he wouldn't be so carless to not pay attention while driving. I simply didn't believe it was him who caused the crash.

"Good, because that isn't what happened. Well, it wasn't only him."

"… I'm confused." I said. Hikaru wasn't making any sense.

He sighed. "Get in the car and let me explain." I complied grudgingly. I really just wanted him to tell me while I was standing there. I didn't have the patience to sit quietly and calmly right now. Once I had sat down, he started the story.


	10. Chapter 10

**Here is the next chapter, finally. Just to let you all know, I've put _The Blackmail Games_ on hold until I finish this. I think I'll do 2 or 3 more chapters.  
><strong>

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><p>Normal POV<p>

"Kaoru stayed after club activities because Tamaki wanted to talk to him about something. What, I have no idea, but back to the story. I left without him, but only because he asked me to. Otherwise, I would have stayed. Tamaki was driving Kaoru home."

"_Boss, what was it you wanted to talk about? And why wouldn't you tell me while we were in the school? You could have said it in front of Hikaru, you know. He wouldn't tell anyone, whatever it was." Kaoru looked at Tamaki inquisitively as he stepped into the passenger side of the car. _

"_No, I couldn't. Hikaru hasn't learned to control his emotions well enough yet. He couldn't take it. Not yet." Kaoru looked down at his hands in his lap. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't argue. He knew his brother was still emotionally immature at times._

"_When you hear, you'll probably understand. But please, don't tell Hikaru. I'll tell him myself. I don't want him to be mad at you just because you're carrying the message." Instantly, Kaoru thought back to the last few weeks of Tamaki's senior year. He had just graduated from high school. Everyone in the host club knew that Haruhi and Tamaki were an item. That had been dating for a little over a year now. Of course, they didn't tell the customers. They might stop coming if they knew Tamaki had a girlfriend. _

_Tamaki sighed. "If everything goes well, at the end of Haruhi's senior year… I'm thinking of proposing." Kaoru was shocked. He had expected something to do with Haruhi, but not marriage. He didn't want to be unsupportive, though, so he did his best to keep his face calm. _

"_Why after high school? She wants to go to school to be a lawyer, right? Why not wait until after college?"_

"_That's just it, Kaoru. I don't think she has the money for college, and that's not just me under-estimating commoners. Haruhi drops little hints, you just have to look for them. Her father won't let her work, and he only makes enough money as a transvestite to cover the bills and put food on the table. She couldn't save up enough money to do it. If we get married, she will have my money to choose from the best colleges available. I love her, Kaoru. I only want what's best for her."_

_Kaoru opened his mouth to say how generous that was of him, but he never got it out._

"When they were on the Akashi Kaikyo bridge, a drunk driver hit a car. The driver lost control and spun into the next lane. The car slammed into Kaoru's door. He died instantly. He never saw it coming." Hikaru's voice cracked as he finished explaining.

"I-I'm sorry for blowing up at you. I really thought it was my fault." Haruhi said, tears coming to her eyes. _At least it was painless, _she thought. "It still kinda feels like that in a round-about way, but… at least it wasn't _only _me." Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

"It's okay." They stopped talking for a while, the silence a strange comfort. After a minute, Hikaru said, "Let me take you home."

"Okay." Haruhi said. Suddenly, she remembered something. "Wait, where was it you were going to take me?"

"Oh, right, that." Hikaru said, having forgot all about that. "I was going to take you to the police station. I had been asked to pick up the official statement about the crash today. I was going to have you read it. Honestly, I didn't think you would take this well, and I expected you to blame it all on yourself. But I didn't think you would give me the chance to explain. Thank you. For letting me tell you instead of an officer who doesn't really give a shit about you, I mean."

"Oh… you're welcome, I guess." Haruhi looked down at her feet. Hikaru started the car and pulled off the side of the road, turning the car around and driving back down the way they came. "So, what about what Tamaki had talked about with Kaoru? Did you ever ask what it was?"

Hikaru looked thoughtful for a moment before responding. "Actually, I never thought to ask. But really, that was between him and my brother. If he wanted me to know, he would have told me. Maybe someday he will, but I don't think I'm ready to hear anyway. So it's fine if he doesn't want to say." Haruhi looked up, glancing at his face in search of any betrayed emotion. She saw nothing and looked out the window, watching the road.

"I think that's an honorable thing to do. Though, if you really wanted to know, he would probably tell you, considering the circumstances." She pointed out to make sure he realized that if he was only just saying he didn't want to know when he really did, most likely, Tamaki wouldn't refuse him.

"Thanks." The rest of the car ride was silent. When they reached Haruhi's apartment complex, Hikaru walked her to the door. No one said anything for a moment.

"Thanks for the ride home." Haruhi said, looking up into Hikaru's face.

"You're welcome." he responded simply. They stood there in silence for another moment. Suddenly, Hikaru reached out and hugged Haruhi. They stood there for a while, just embracing and finding comfort in each other. A minute or so later, Hikaru let her go. "Thank you. For everything." Without giving her a chance to respond, he turned and left. Haruhi stood on the balcony and watched him walk down the stairs, across the parking lot, get into his car, and drive away. She stayed there until she could no longer see his car. Then, she turned and went inside.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi, people! So, I actually don't know how long it's going to be before this is finished. I had thought it was only going to be only a few more chapters, but now it looks like it might be a few more than 2 or 3. Maybe 5. A little shorter than I was hoping for because the story is progressing so much faster than I first planned, but I think it'll be okay. It shouldn't turn out too bad. Thanks for sticking with me this long! R&R!**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

I drove away from Haruhi's apartment complex, trying to keep my mind occupied. I thought about Haruhi, and how much I cared for her. There had been so many times I really wanted to steal Haruhi away from Tamaki, but that wouldn't be fair to him, especially now. He didn't need more pain right now, and taking her would only make me guilty and upset. I pushed the thought from my mind. I thought about what Tamaki might have wanted to talk to Kaoru about. I suspected it had something to do with Haruhi, but I couldn't be sure. My first thought was that he was going to break up with her, but that didn't make any sense. I came up with all sorts of different ideas and pondered them. I thought about anything and everything just so I didn't have to think about Kaoru.

When I got home, I went straight up to my room, like I always did lately. Mom and Dad had gone back to working full time instead of part time like they had been doing directly after Kaoru's death, saying their jobs were too important to lose, especially at a time like this. They seemed to forget they owned the companies, so they set their own work schedules. I suppose everyone deals with pain differently. You know, if they felt any.

My mind wandered back to Tamaki and his conversation with Kaoru. I really wanted him to tell me what it was about. At first, I felt like that was their private conversation, and if it was a secret, maybe it should die with him. But now I just wanted to know. My curiosity gnawed away at me until I couldn't take it anymore. It was as if I needed to know, as if there was someone in my head, trying to tell me that I had to ask him and make him tell me. I pulled out my phone and dialed his number.

"Hello?" I heard Tamaki's voice say.

"Hey, Tamaki. It's me." I responded. My voice sounded a lot stronger than it had the past few days. _That's good._ I thought. _I hope how quiet my voice was before wasn't worrying anyone._

"Oh, Hikaru. What's up?" His voice was casual, but I knew he was only saying it like that because he wanted to give me 'some sense of normalcy', like the first-year health teachers always say people going through trauma need. I almost laughed.

"I was just wondering: what was it that you and Kaoru were talking about? I've been thinking about it for a while, and my curiosity is getting the best of me." I hoped my voice sounded casual, too. If this was what he thought I needed, best to just play along and not worry him.

"Oh, that… um, listen, if you really want to know, maybe you should come down to my place. We'll talk there. This isn't the kind of thing you talk about over the phone…" He sounded stressed again and I silently cursed myself. It was the very thing I was trying to avoid.

"Okay. Is it alright if I come over now?" I asked.

"Not right now. How about… on Friday? Will that work?" I checked my calendar. Today was Monday. It had been exactly 6 days since the car accident, but it had felt like so much more time than that. The days had been dragging ever so slowly. It could have been years and I would have never known the difference.

"Yeah, that'll be fine. I guess… I'll see you then." I said back, slightly crestfallen as I wrote "Tamaki" in the box for that Friday. I was hoping to find out today, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen. I turned and flopped on my bed. On the other line, I heard a female voice call for Tamaki, probably a maid.

"Coming!" he called back. Then to me, he said, "I gotta go. Talk to you Friday?"

"Yeah." I heard the dial tone, meaning he had hung up. I hung up as well and put down the phone on my bedside table. _My. _That word was so weird. For so many years, everything was always ours, and now it's just mine. I didn't want to think about it that way, though. It felt like if I thought like that, then I was forgetting him, saying he was no longer a part of my life. But that wasn't true. I knew that I would think about him every day for the rest of my life; there would never be a day where he wasn't part of me anymore.

I rolled over, face down on Kaoru's side of the bed. The pillows still smelt like him. I inhaled his scent for a few moments before a fresh wave of tears hit me and I buried my head in his pillow.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, guys! I know it's been way to long since I uploaded, but in my defense I am technologically disabled and the Internet wasn't working and I almost blew up the computer trying to fix it. So, my dad fixed it and everything is okay now. It's going to be a long time before the next one is uploaded, too, because I'm gong on vacation and I won't have a chance to upload again. This part of the story will continue into the next chapter. For anyone who is wondering, I know how the story ends right now, I'm just not sure how I'm going to get there. **

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

_Beep Beep Beep! _I reached over and turned off my alarm clock. I had slept well last night, since I had stayed up so late doing homework. I stretched and looked over at the clock. 6:00 on a Thursday. It felt like so much more time had gone by since my talk with Tamaki. Having to wait for Friday just made the days drag by longer.

My phone beeped, indicating a text message. I grabbed it off the end table and flipped it open.

_-U wanna meet 4 breakfast? School can wait._

I laughed. I couldn't remember a time when Haruhi had ever been okay with missing school.

_-This from a girl who wants to be a lawyer? Im surprised at u haruhi. Where at?_

_-Idk. I figured u wuld have a place u liked. I dont eat out much…_

_-kk. Hmmm…. Do u like Italian food?_

_-sure meet me at the train station?_

_-kk c u then._

I flipped my phone closed and smiled. I knew that Haruhi really didn't want to miss school. But she was so stubborn, if I brought it up she would deny it point blank. I got out of bed and dressed. I put on casual weekend clothes – a tank top under a hooded sweater without sleeves and jeans - but changed my mind and then put on something a little nicer. No doubt Haruhi would wear something nice, seeing as she didn't have to worry about being seen.

I looked in the mirror. I had on a brand-new green T-shirt with my good pair of dark jeans. My sneakers were black. _There._ I thought. _That'll work._

I walked down the stairs and the maids gawked. One of them ran up to me.

"S-Sir, you can't really go to school like t-that, can you?" She stuttered, blushing. _Oh yeah, _I remembered. _She's the new girl._

"I'm not going to school. I'm going out to breakfast with a friend." I replied, brushing past her. She followed after me, unsure of what to do.

"But, Sir, w-what about school?" She asked, still running behind me.

"They won't miss me for a day." I smirked, holding back a laugh. It was so much fun to play with the maids minds. She was freaking out about this, when it was really no big deal. I'd skipped school before, and she was the only one who didn't know that.

An older maid ran up to her then and whispered something in her ear. The girl blushed furiously and whispered, "H-have a good day." With that, she took off running down the hall. I chuckled to myself, low enough so that no one else would hear.

"Have a car sent around. No chauffeur." I said casually.

"Of course. Right away." The older maid bowed and nodded to another girl, who ran off to deliver the message. By the time I had gotten to the end of the hall and through the doors, there was a car waiting for me.

"That was fast." I said to the driver stepping out of the car.

"Of course, Sir. That is my job." I frowned. I hated how the servants were so formal. You could never get a real answer out of them. It was annoying.

"Yeah." I replied, stepping into the car. I drove off towards the train station, hoping I made it before Haruhi. I didn't want her to have to wait for me.

When I pulled up, Haruhi was just getting there. I pulled into a spot in between two other cars to make it look like I had been there longer. I stepped out of the car, and called over to her. She turned and waved before walking over. _I was right._ I thought. She was wearing a purple sundress that went down to her knees. It was form fitting down to the waist, where it flowed slightly out into a skirt. Her shoes were black flats. _She's beautiful._ I thought before I caught myself. _She's Tamaki's girlfriend. _I reminded myself._ I can't think like that._

"Hey, Hikaru." She said. I looked up, just realizing she was right in front of me.

"Oh, hey. Nice dress." She looked down.

"Oh, thanks. I like your shirt. I'd ask where you got it, but it would be a waste of my time to actually check the place out. As if I could afford anything there." I laughed.

"Yeah, you're probably right. And don't worry, I won't ask where you got your dress."

"Please don't, I get enough of that from Dad." We both laughed this time. It felt good to laugh with a friend again. I didn't get nearly enough of that since Kaoru died. The realization hit me. Whenever I thought about it, it was like a slap in the face. It didn't feel real, but on the inside I knew the pain I felt was justified.

"Hikaru? Are you okay?" I looked up, suddenly aware I had been spacing out. I smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking." She looked worried, but brightened up a little at my comment. I had a feeling she knew what I was thinking about, but was trying to look happy for my sake.

"Alright. Where to?"

"How does La Granada sound?" I asked, knowing she probably hadn't heard of it if she didn't eat out much. It was common enough, I hoped, that she wouldn't feel out of place there but that she also wouldn't feel like I was giving something up for her. I knew her, and knew she would probably think something like that.

"La Granada?"

"It's a really popular Italian restaurant. It's in the Tokyo Broadcasting Systems building. I've never been there, but it gets good reviews."

"Alright. Let's eat there, then." She looked a little nervous. Probably because she thought I was taking her to an expensive place. Did I know her or what?

"Great, get in." I said, walking around to the other side and opening the passenger door of my car for her. She stepped in and I closed the door, and then got in myself. I was happy, I realized. I was going to spend the day with Haruhi. I had feelings for her, and even though I knew she didn't feel the same way about me, it just made me feel good to be able to spend my time with her. I drove off, on the way to a perfect day.


	13. Chapter 13

**I believe I promised another appearance of Ghost Kaoru, and here you are. It's only a small blurb, but he'll have a lot more in the last chapter. A whole bit of dialogue! Sorry it took so long to upload! I was camping, and unfortunately had no internet access. Here you are, the next chapter! I have no idea how many more there will be, but I'm thinking 3. Bye-bye! R&R!**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

As we pulled away from the station, Haruhi asked, "You're… you're not taking me to some fancy rich place, are you?" The question took me off guard. I had expected her to worry about that, but I didn't think she would come out and say it. I wasn't sure how to respond. If I said no too casually, it would seem like I didn't want to be seen with a commoner like her.

"No, it's not a really fancy place. It's just a popular restaurant that sounded good. At least, I don't think it's fancy. But even if it is, I don't think it'll be anything to worry about." I tried to keep my face calm so she wouldn't see how nervous I was over what she would think about this answer. I just hoped I didn't sound like I was being a jerk.

To my relief, Haruhi seemed to calm down a little. "That's good." She said. "I would feel strange in a fancy restaurant. I rarely eat out as it is." Did I know her or what?

"Really." I responded stupidly. _Damn it._ I thought. _I just sounded like such an ass._ Haruhi gave me a strange look, but then smiled.

"I guess it seems weird, huh? I bet you eat out all the time." She laughed.

"No, not really." I said casually. "We have private chefs, so there's no need." _Shit. Did I really just say that?_ She looked at me funny. I gripped the wheel harder, trying not to let her see how much of an idiot I myself thought I was being. She turned away from me, looking out the window.

Finally, we pulled up in front of the restaurant. I was glad to get out of the car and into the restaurant, hoping that a location change might release some of the tension. And maybe I could manage not to screw up and say something stupid for the rest of the day. _Although, that may just be wishful thinking._ I thought to myself with a smirk.

I went around to the passenger side and let Haruhi out. "Let's go." She gave me a bright smile and turned to walk in. I sighed in relief. Hopefully, this meant she had forgiven me saying such insensitive things.

We walked into the restaurant and were seated. The waitress brought us waters and we sat at out booth awkwardly for a minute.

"So… how are you?" Haruhi asked. I could tell by the look on her face she immediately regretted saying anything. I smiled at her, glad it wasn't me screwing up. Again.

"Fine, I suppose. Things are better then I expected them." Haruhi smirked.

"Really? So, you've imagined what it would be like for you if Kaoru died before you and it was worse then this?" She said jokingly. I tried to smile back, but the truth of what she said was like being punched in the stomach. It was always hard whenever anyone mentioned him, but at least now I could hold it together. I thought back to Kaoru's funeral and how I had collapsed outside of the building.

"Pretty sick, huh? But I always thought that if anything ever happened to him, I would have no reason to go on. Now I see that I do. Everyone else cared about him, too, and it wouldn't be fair if I just gave up and left everyone else to deal with the pain on their own." I looked down at the table, hoping she wouldn't see the tears coming to my eyes. I blinked fast to make them disappear and looked back up at her. She gave me a reassuring smile.

"We're always here for you. But let's talk about something else for now. I don't want to make you depressed." I laughed.

"So, now that we're graduating, what are you going to do for college." Haruhi looked down uncomfortably.

"I don't know if I'll be going right away. I mean, I have a little money saved up, but not that much. I'll probably end up with a regular job for a few years so I can save up enough to go." She said quietly.

"Well, don't tell Boss. He'll all but try to kill you for even considering not going." I said, trying to lighten the mood a little. Haruhi laughed.

"It's not like I'm not going at all. I'll be going eventually. Just not right away."

"This is going to send him off on another 'Haruhi must be starving and in extreme poverty' dillusions." We both laughed.

"What are you going to do, Hikaru?"

"My parents want to send me to the Universaty of Tokyo to study business. You know, to 'become the family legacy'." I said sarcastically, making air quotes. Haruhi looked at me, confused.

"You don't want to?"

"Not really. I mean, with Kaoru and I being twins, we were going to do it together. Without him… well, I sorta lost interest." Haruhi looked thoughtful.

"That makes sense. But wouldn't taking it over kind of be like honoring his memory in a way? You're doing for him what he wanted for the both of you. You'd be fulfilling an unspoken with, sort of." I thought about that. It made sense.

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, when you put it that way…" I said, my voice trailing off.

"Besides, if you didn't, you'd probably lose you're fortune, and God forbid you have no private chefs."

We laughed.

Kaoru's POV

I looked on at Hikaru and Haruhi laughing together in the restaurant. It made me feel good to see that he was leaning on others for support. I was so afraid he would become withdrawn and would stop speaking to everyone, trying to shoulder the burden by himself. But he was depending on others, letting people see how he was feeling and letting them help. I smiled to myself. He was going to be okay. It might hurt now, and it would probably always hurt. But he would get better. I turned and left. Hikaru was going to be okay without me. It was sad, but peaceful.


	14. Chapter 14

**Wow, this chapter is really long! I couldn't bare to cut it down any though, so I guess you'll just have to deal. I think this is one of my best yet. I was really excited while writing this chapter. I can't believe there are only two more to go! I hope you enjoy! R&R!**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

And finally, it was Friday.

I pulled up outside Tamaki's house feeling like I was about to faint. My nerves were so bad right now my entire body was shaking. I couldn't believe it was finally the day when I would find out what Tamaki had wanted to talk to Kaoru about that he couldn't say to me. I was up almost all night trying to think of an answer, but I couldn't come up with any legitimate answers. What had he wanted to hide from me so badly?

I rang the door bell, my hands shaking violently. My heart was beating so loud I was sure the maid would hear it. The door opened, and a young girl peaked out. When she saw who it was, she smiled. I saw an older maid behind her who came over and nudged the girl, who immediately left.

"Mr. Hitachiin, you are expected. Please, come in." She said in a monotone voice.

"Thanks." I mumbled. I thought I saw her raise an eyebrow out of the corner of her eye. Probably because of all my shaking and nerves. Damn. I really had to get myself under control before I saw Tamaki. I stepped inside and wiped my feet on the rug. I took a deep breath and some of the shaking subsided. _I guess that will have to do._ I thought unhappily.

"Young Master Tamaki is upstairs in his room. You know the way." The maid said coldly before walking away, going back to her tasks. I got the feeling she didn't like me, but I couldn't figure out why. Maybe she was like that with everyone. I shook my head to clear it and started upstairs.

I opened the door to Tamaki's room and saw him sitting at his desk with a text book open. When the door shut, he looked up at me and forced a smile. Obviously, he had been dreading this day as much as I had been looking forward to it. I took another deep breath and tried to give him a casual smile. He gestured to a chair across the room in a sitting area I had never noticed. Maybe it was new? I sat down in the chair and he crossed over to sit by me.

"Would you like some tea?" Tamaki asked me. There was a sort of tension in the air, a strange feeling I couldn't explain. Like there was some sort of rift between us. This scared me. If we were growing farther apart, would he be open with me about this? What if he tried to lie to me? The nervous shaking started again even as I tried to tell myself that Tamaki would never lie to me, especially about something this important.

"Sure, that'd be great." I responded simply, trying to keep the shaking out of my voice. Tamaki pulled out his phone and started typing. I assumed he was texting a maid. It didn't surprise me that he gave the maids cell phones. Although when I was younger the maids didn't have them, most of ours have work phones now.

"So… how are you?" He asked. His voice was casual, but there was something forced about it.

"I'm fine, I suppose. You?" I tried to respond casually too, but I feared he could tell I was also forcing it.

"Fine. A little nervous, but fine." Some of my nerves subsided. If he was telling me he was nervous, assuming he was talking about the conversation I came here to have, then he probably wasn't going to lie to me. It was comforting that I knew I could trust him about this.

"Me too." I said. I took another deep breath, but this time not to calm myself but to show him how I felt. He gave a small laugh.

"Maybe that's justified. The reason I didn't want to tell you was because I didn't know how you would take it. You might be fine with it, or you could blow up at me. If you're angry with me, I'll completely understand. Don't be afraid to say so if you are." Tamaki gave me a look that made it seem as if he was looking straight into my soul. His words peeked my curiosity. Now, more than ever, I wanted to know what it was he had talked to him about.

"So… what was it? What did you want to talk to him about that I couldn't hear?" I asked. I hoped there wasn't any hostility in my voice. I didn't want it to seem like I was mad or else he might withhold information so I wouldn't get angrier. Tamaki took a deep breath and opened his mouth to respond when there was a knock on the door.

"Excuse me. I have your tea." A young girl voice came through the door.

"Yes. Come in." Tamaki called. The door opened and the maid who had answered the door walked in with a tray of tea. She set it down on the table and bowed as she left the room, closing the door again behind her. I picked up my cup and took a sip. It was English tea, one that Tamaki seemed to have often.

"You were saying?" I asked, eager to get to the point. I had waited so long for this, and I didn't want to have to wait any longer than I had to. He sighed and started again.

"Right... well, first let me say that I know you've always liked Haruhi –" I felt my face turn bright red. So he knew I still liked her. "- and the reason I hadn't wanted to tell you initially was because it involves her. I hope you can understand. I thought it would be better to wait a while… well, maybe that wasn't it. I think I was more afraid to tell you than anything else because I was scared you would be angry with me." I tried to listen with a look of understanding on my face as he basically restated everything he had just said a few minutes ago. I didn't blame him, though. I had a history of being a bit emotionally unstable.

"Here's the thing – I'm just going to come right out and say it. Right after her graduation –" I did some quick math in my head. In three weeks. Tamaki took another deep breath. "I'm going to ask her to marry me."

The only way to describe my feelings was total shock. I stared at him for a moment, not quite processing what he was saying to me. Marry Haruhi? Right after getting out of high school? Was he insane? In the depths of my heart there was a dull aching. He was going to take her away from me, forever. I didn't want that to happen. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"You're mad, aren't you? I get it, I totally understand. Let me explain." I barely heard his words. I was lost in my own thoughts, trying to disconnect myself from the outer world. I just wanted it to all go away. I gripped my head in my hands while I attempted to process it all. I snapped out of it when I heard the word "college". I snapped up and stared at him, not believing I had forgotten about college. She wanted to be a lawyer! How could she juggle a marriage and school work? A triumphant feeling rose in my chest. Maybe I could hold on to her a bit longer.

"W-Wait, what about college?" I asked. I heard my voice shaking. The weakness of my own voice surprised me. I had hoped to hide some of what I was really feeling from Tamaki, partly so he wouldn't feel bad and partly because I didn't want him to know it was affecting me this deeply.

"I'm going to marry her now so she can go to college." Tamaki glanced down at the table and then looked back at me. I saw his tea was untouched and his hand gripping the cup hard and shaking. The tea sloshed precariously, threatening to spill out and burn him. I looked at him confused. Somehow, his logic didn't seem to make any sense, though since when was that new? Marry her so she can go to college? I didn't understand.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not meeting his eyes. I couldn't look at him right now. I still needed a few minutes to let everything sink in.

"W-well, think about it. Her dad doesn't make a lot of money working as a transvestite and wouldn't let her work even if the school would allow it.* The money Ranka makes only covers the bills and putting food on the table. She doesn't have enough money to go to college. If she marries me now instead of after law school, she would be able to use my money to go to the best schools out there. I can send her to The University of Tokyo; we can go together! I love her. I only want what's best for her." I thought back to what Haruhi said to me at the restaurant._I don't know if I'll be going right away. I mean, I have a little money saved up, but not much. I'll probably end up with a regular job for a few years so I can save up enough to go._ I knew he was right. She didn't have the money to go and even though she says she'd get a job and save up money, she wouldn't be able to get a high enough paying job without a college degree first. I sighed and put my head back in my hands.

"You're right. She doesn't have the money. But do you think she'll marry you just to get the money to go to college?" I asked incrediously. Haruhi was proud. She would never do something like that if she knew. She'd never excepted money from us before no matter how much we pushed and prodded. What made him think she would now?

"No, she wouldn't marry me just because I have the money to send her to college." Some of the upbeat happiness of the old Tamaki I knew before Kaoru's death started to come through in his voice. "That's precisely why I'm not going to tell her that was why I was asking then instead of after she graduated college. I love her, so I won't be lying when I tell her I want to marry her because I love her. After we're married, she'll go to college with me." A warm smile spread across his face, his eyes shining. I knew it wasn't going to be that simple, but I didn't have the heart to say so. He was happy, and seeing him happy helped to lift my mood. I always knew that sooner or later I'd have to except that she would always belong to Tamaki, and it just happened to be sooner. I felt a smile spread across my lips. Haruhi would be in good hands with someone who loved her even more than I did. With him, she would be happy and fulfill her dreams of becoming a lawyer to follow in her mother's footsteps. That was all I could ask right now.

"I hope I'm invited to the wedding?" I said, smiling back at him. His face brightened even more, though I didn't think it was possible.

"In fact, I want you to be the best man." I was surprised, but only for a moment.

"Of course I will be." This day, which started out as horribly nerve-wracking had just become possibly one of the best days of my life.

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><p><strong>*Japanese schools typically don't allow students to hold jobs because it interferes with learning.<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Longest chapter yet! Sorry, I suck at the romance stuff, but I hope it was good anyway! Thanks for sticking with me this far! The next chapter will be the last. R&R! **

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

The sun streamed through my window, waking me up a little earlier than I would have liked. I rolled over and looked at the clock. 7:00. I sighed, knowing that I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. I walked into the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of my eyes.

"Hey, Haruhi. You're up early." I heard my dad say from the table. His hair was up in a ponytail, as usual, and he was reading the newspaper.

"Oh, hey Dad." I turned to the stove and turned it on, placing a frying pan on top. I coated the inside of the pan in canola oil and cracked an egg into the pan. I turned to my dad.

"You want one, Dad?" He looked up from the paper, dark circles under his eyes.

"Hmm? Oh, no, I'm good." He looked back down, obviously entranced in the news story. I shrugged and turned back to the stove, flipping my egg. I got out a plate while it finished cooking, my mind wandering. I couldn't keep concentrated for whatever reason today. My mind jumped from one topic to the other. I shook my head, trying to clear it. If this kept up, I was going to have a really bad headache by the end of today.

I transferred my egg to my plate and walked to the table to sit across from Dad. We sat in silence, me eating and him reading. Just as I had finished, my cell phone rang. Dad looked up at me, confused.

"Since when do you have a cell phone?" He asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Hikaru and Kaoru." I mumbled distractedly while I fished my phone out of my pocket.

"Ah. I should have known." Then more quietly, "Damn rich kids." I laughed at that. Finally, I managed to tug my phone out of my pocket and looked at the caller ID. I was surprised. Tamaki rarely ever called my cell. He usually just called on the landline. I flipped open the phone and answered.

"Hello? What's up?" I asked.

"Hey, Haruhi." Tamaki's voice answered. He sounded nervous, which surprised me. Tamaki was so confident, it was weird to hear him with a nervous, quivering voice. "How about we go on a date today? I'll take you out for lunch." I almost laughed. Was that why he was nervous? He wanted to ask me on a date?

"Sure, that sounds great." I answered, suppressing the giggles that rose in my throat.

"Great! I'll pick you up at 11:00?" He asked.

"Sure. See you then." I said. It was strange, him sounding so nervous, yet excited at the same time. I couldn't think of any reason that he might feel like that. I laughed quietly to myself. Who ever knew what was going through that head of his?

"Who was that?" Dad asked, trying to look calm even though he knew I could see right through that. I ignored it, though, and put my cell back in my pocket without commenting on it.

"Just Tamaki. We have a da - I'm going to meet him today." Even though Dad knew we were dating and claimed he was fine with it, he seemed to have a problem with the word 'date', so I tried to refrain from using it. I saw him tense up, his hands gripping the newspaper tighter.

"That's fine. What time?" He asked, the tension more than obvious in his voice.

"11:00. We're going to lunch." I explained. He didn't respond, just buried his face deeper in his paper.

I got up and went back to my room to get ready. After almost 20 minutes of going through my closet, I finally decided on a lavender tank-top dress that fell just above the knees with a flower pattern along the hem line. I took one final look in the mirror before sliding on my black flat dress shoes and checked the clock: 10:53. Tamaki would be here any minute.

5 minutes later, Tamaki pulled up in his 2011 Ford Fiesta. I ran out to meet him as soon as I heard the familiar hum of the engine.

"Good morning, Haruhi." Tamaki said as I approached, kissing me lightly on the forehead. I smiled at him, suddenly feeling happier.

"Morning. So, where are we going?" I asked, even though I knew it was pointless. In the end, I always ended up choosing the restaurant. He always insisted that we go wherever I wanted to go. I wondered where he would pick if I made him.

"How about Japanese food? There's a nice place called Toraji Chun-Ha-Chu-Dong." I blinked in surprise. This was a first. He was actually suggesting a place for us to go instead of making me. _I guess that answers my question._ I thought, smiling.

"Sure." I answered. He beamed at me and took my hand, walking me around to the other side of the car. He opened the door for me and I stepped inside, settling into the familiar, comfy interior. Tamaki walked around and got in. He started the car and we drove off. We were silent on the drive, but this was nothing new. I found that often we didn't start talking until we got to wherever we were going.

We walked inside of the restaurant after about a 15 minute drive. It was classy, high-end, sophisticated. I felt slightly uncomfortable, as though I was out of place. I nervously walked forward, clutching Tamaki's hand. He looked down at me and, sensing my feelings, smiled reassuringly.

Once we were seated and had ordered, Tamaki turned and smiled at me.

"So, how are you? I feel like we haven't seen a lot of each other lately." He said, and I sensed a hidden meaning in the statement. He thought it had been to long since we had had a date and that I was mad at him. I smiled reassuringly, hoping it would show him this wasn't the case.

"Yes, it's been a while. But good things come to people who wait." I pointed out. Tamaki looked relieved, which meant my suspicions were probably right. I became aware of a stupid grin plastered across my face which I quickly fought to erase.

"How's your father?" He asked.

"He's good. Lately, they've been getting a lot more new customers, and he's been taking on some extra hours to make sure there are enough people to cover all the work. He's earning more money, but it's been wearing him out. I'm a little worried about him." I told him. I never had a problem talking to Tamaki. It was as if he opened up a door somewhere inside me that let me pour my feelings out. I looked at him affectionately.

"That's good. My dad's been a little overworked lately, too. I don't know what he's been up too, but he's in his office so much lately. He won't tell me what's going on. I wish he would. I'd like to help him, start building a little experience." I smiled at him.

"Well, hopefully it will pass. It's probably only a minor problem." I said reassuringly. He grinned at me.

The waitress brought our food and we thanked her before digging in. When we had gotten here, I was a little surprised that it was a yakiniku shop. I was expecting fancy food and was relieved it was normal stuff that I had tried before. I would have felt bad if I ordered something expensive and then didn't like it. This yakiniku was delicious, beyond anything I had ever tasted.

"This is great." I said in between bites. Tamaki nodded, seemingly to absorbed in his food to talk. Tamaki put down his food and sat for thought in a second. Then, apparently deciding against whatever it was, looked back at me and smiled again.

"So, you like it? The food, I mean." He asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I mean, really, would I have said, 'This is great,' if I didn't like it?

"Yeah, it's really good. And surprisingly fancy for a Yakiniku shop." I joked. Tamaki laughed and looked around at the restaurant.

"Yes, it surprised me a little too. I've never actually been here before. I looked it up online." He confessed, blushing slightly. "It got good reviews and was rated the highest, so I chose here. I wanted to take you somewhere special." Now it was my turn to blush. It felt weird, like it was unnatural. I was so used to pretending I was a boy that acting like a girl was almost a foreign concept. Suddenly, a thought occurred to me.

"Gee, I hope nobody sees me. That'll be pretty hard to explain away. Either I'm a cross-dresser or I'm gay, or both, neither of which will help my reputation." I meant it jokingly, but all the color seemed to drain from Tamaki's face. He started to panic, his voice becoming high and squeaky.

"Oh my god, I never even thought of that! But at college-"

"Tamaki."

"- you won't have to pretend anymore, right? Everyone can know you're-"

"Tamaki!"

"- a girl? Oh, but what if kids from our school go to that college! Ah, what are we going to do? This is-"

"Sempai!" He finally looked up, startled by what I had called him. I laughed, almost unable to get the words out.

"I was only joking! You don't have to be so serious!" I exclaimed. Tamaki looked confused, but then he smiled warmly and laughed along with me.

"That was a cruel prank, Haruhi." He said, a mock pout on his face. The smile plastered on my face grew.

"I apologize." I said. He smiled back. By now, all our food was gone, and he waved for the waitress to bring the check. She came hurrying over and brought us the small black folder. Tamaki opened it and stuck in a credit card before handing it back to her. Tamaki's jitters seemed to return, and he stuck an overly shaky hand in his pocket.

"I don't want to make a scene, so you'll forgive me for not getting down on one knee." He said suddenly, his face so red it might have been on fire and his entire body shaking so hard he looked ready to explode.

"Ah… what?" I asked, confused. The sentence seemed entirely random, didn't fit at all. I didn't get what he was trying to do. And then he pulled his hand out of his pocket. He was holding a beautiful while leather ring box with a deep blue flowery pattern on it. He opened the box, and inside was the most amazing ring I had ever seen. It had a gold band embedded with diamonds, and the main piece was a sapphire, the biggest one I'd ever seen. It was packaged in silk died the same blue as the flower pattern on the outside. I clapped my hand over my mouth and my eyes widened as I finally understood. My heart soared with elation.

"Oh… my… god." Was the only thing I could think to say. I was so happy in that moment, so filled with joy that I couldn't even speak. There was no word for the love I felt for Tamaki right then.

"Haruhi, I love you so much." He said, his voice sounding calmer than he looked. His face was no longer red, but he was still shaking like a Chihuahua. "Will you marry me?" He looked so nervous, though I could understand why. I couldn't think of a single person who wouldn't feel nervous when they were proposing. Even Kyoya would be about ready to die from nerves, though he'd probably easily hide it.

When I spoke, my voice was soft and shaky. "I love you too… yes. Yes!" I ended a little louder. Tamaki immediately stood up, and pulled me to him, enveloping me in a hug. He bent down and kissed me softly and lovingly. We stayed like that for a minute. I was aware of every head turning in our direction, but in that moment I didn't care. He pulled away and, with a stupid yet cute grin plastered on his face, took the ring carefully from the box and slid it on my finger. I reached up and kissed him again. By now, the entirety yakiniku shop had figured out what was going on. A loud, "Awww..." emitted from the entirety of the shop, followed by loud clapping. We pulled away and I smiled brightly at him. Tamaki returned the smile.

"You know, this will make a great story. 'Mommy, where did Daddy propose to you?' 'Well, honey, we were on a date, eating yakiniku…'" I laughed. He laughed along with me, his eyes shining. We heard someone clear their throat and we turned. Our waitress stood with our receipt in hand, her face a deep shade of red. She ran forward and thrust the receipt in Tamaki's hand.

"Thank you for your business!" She shouted and ran away. We stood together, silenced by surprise for a moment before bursting out laughing. Tamaki took my hand and led me out of the restaurant. I held the ring box in my hand. We got into the car and sat for a while.

"We should go tell my Dad. Best to just get it over with." Tamaki looked at me in mock horror and I laughed.

"I just hope he doesn't chuck me out of the apartment. Literally." I chuckled. Suddenly, my phone rang. I checked the called ID.

"Hikaru?" I said to myself. Tamaki looked surprised.

"Well, answer it." He said after a moment of me staring at it. I nodded and flipped open the phone.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey Haruhi. What're you doing today?" Hikaru's voice answered. He sounded bored, so I guessed he was just looking to hang out with someone. I smiled.

"Actually, I'm with Tamaki right now." I answered, not bothering yet to mention our engagement.

"Tell him." Tamaki urged. "He should know." I nodded.

"Tell me what? What should I know?" He asked. Obviously, he had heard what Tamaki had said. My smile grew bigger.

"Well, about 5 minutes ago I got engaged!" I exclaimed, the excitement.

"Wow! Congrats! I guess that means we can't hang out today, huh?" He asked. I had a feeling he already knew about this since he didn't sound to surprised.

"Sorry." I apologized. "Well, talk to you later?" I asked him.

"Alright, bye." The dial tone sounded, indicating he had hung up the phone. I smiled warmly at Tamaki. We were going to be happy forever.


	16. Chapter 16

**And we finally reach an end to our journey. Thanks to everyone who stuck with me and read this story straight through to the end. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and helped me become a better writer through your reviews. I definitely noticed a big difference between my first chapter and last!**

**Special thanks to lillygirl44 for faithfully reviewing every chapter, for inspiring new ideas for this story, and for being an awesome friend. :D**

**Special thanks to GatewaysDiary for her frank and honest reviews that helped me to grow as a writer and for inspiring new ideas for this story.**

**I also thought I'd point out that all the locations I mention in this story are real, such as the Tokyo Broadcasting Building, La Granada, and, in this chapter, the Atonement Evangelical Lutheran Church. **

**I have decided to continue with my story Losses. I don't know if I'll keep The Blackmail Games going. It might end up going up for adoption, unfortunately. **

**Thanks again to all my readers.**

**~Uchiha**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

_1 ½ months later…_

I looked into the mirror one last time and smiled. I looked over the black, standard wedding tux that Tamaki had picked out for me. I smoothed out the wrinkles on the front and sighed a happy sigh. Just as I was about to turn away, my eye caught the picture of Kaoru tucked under the frame, his warm, smiling face next to mine. The familiar ache clutched at my heart, but I refused to let myself get upset. It was Tamaki and Haruhi's big day. I wasn't going to be sad today.

"Be back soon, Kaoru." I said quietly, shutting the door behind me. I hurried down the stairs and checked my watch. I had 45 minutes until the start of the ceremony. I had to hurry. I ran out the door, shouting for someone to bring a car around. I waited, nervously and impatiently tapping my foot as I waited for the chauffeur to come with my car. Thoughts raced through my head about the wedding, Kaoru, anything and everything. I stamped them down as I heard the motor of a car start, trying to think about nothing but the upcoming ceremony.

An obsidian-black Jaguar XJ drove up in front of me. The chauffeur stepped out and handed me the keys. I snatched them and took a running leap off the sidewalk onto the driveway.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like me to drive you?" he called as I raced around to the driver's side and practically jumped inside.

"I'll be fine!" I shouted. I quickly started the car and pulled around, finally on my way. It felt like forever since I had called for a car, when it really had only been 2 minutes. As soon as I hit the road, I slammed down on the gas pedal.

I reached the chapel, the Atonement Evangelical Lutheran Church, in record time, thankfully not getting pulled over by any police. I raced inside the double doors of the church and stopped short, almost falling on my face, when I saw Tamaki and Haruhi standing together in the lobby. Tamaki was wearing a regular tuxedo with a real red rose in the breast pocket. But it wasn't him who made my breath catch in my throat.

Haruhi's silk gown was crisp white and floor length, flowing out behind her so that two girls had to stand behind her and hold it. It was strap-less, the chest embroidered with roses and rose vines. The hem was a very fine line of gold, fine enough so that it didn't draw attention away from the embroidery but still pulled the whole dress together. The veil looked like it was also silk, but woven loosely so that she could see through it. White roses decorated the band that held it on her head. The veil was flipped over the back of her short, dark hair. She was absolutely stunning. When she noticed me looking at her, she blushed.

"H-hey, Hikaru." She stuttered, not quite looking me in the eyes.

"Oh… hi." I said stupidly, momentarily forgetting what was going on and where I was, only focused on her. I quickly cleared my head, kicking myself for freezing like that. _It's her wedding day, for God's sake!_ I thought to myself angrily. "So… I'm not late, am I?" I asked, trying to fill the silence.

"You are right on time. The ceremony doesn't start for another 20 minutes." Kyoya said from behind Tamaki. I was surprised for a moment, not having realized anyone else was there. I looked around, and noticed also here was Mori, Hunny, Ranka; all dressed similar to me, and another girl I didn't recognize, wearing a lavender silk dress. Haruhi must have noticed my confused look, because she hurriedly introduced me.

"Oh, Hikaru, this is my cousin, Hiroko." Hiroko shyly stuck out her hand for me to shake. I was confused for a moment but reached out to shake it. When she realized her mistake, she blushed and quickly withdrew her hand, bowing instead. I smiled. I thought her small slip up was sort of funny, though she seemed to think it the height of embarrassment.

"Hiroko Tanaka. Nice to meet you." She said, her voice small and quiet. She refused to look me in the eye as I bowed back.

"Hikaru Hitachiin." I said, seeing as Haruhi hadn't told her my last name. She turned and quickly hurried away, probably off to get the bouquets and such.

"So, only one bridesmaid?" I asked, turning back to Haruhi. There had been no wedding rehearsal – Tamaki insisted on it being spontaneous, saying it would feel stiff and rehearsed if there was a rehearsal, apparently not noticing having it look rehearsed was kind of the point of a rehearsal – so I didn't know anything except about me being best man and the other host club members being whatever it is you call the other men that stand up on the alter with the groom. She shrugged, a small smile on her lips.

"Yeah, only one. Hiroko was the only girl I wanted to be with me, and she even interrupted her studies in America to be here." I thought back to when she had offered her hand to shake. So that must have been why. "Mom would have been my only other choice." She didn't look down when she said this, but I don't think anything could possibly have gotten her down today. She was positively glowing.

Inside the chapel area, people were rushing around, making last minute preparations. Suddenly, something occurred to me.

"Don't you need a Justice of the Peace or something?" I asked, slightly confused. Someone like that should have been here by now, or so I thought.

"Actually," Kyoya said, pushing his glasses up his nose, "That would be me. You seem to be quite uninformed about tonight." While I stood in complete shock, he turned to Tamaki. "Really, Tamaki. You didn't bother to tell him anything except that he was to be best man, did you?" Tamaki blushed and started to try to make excuses, but Kyoya just ignored them, turning back to me.

"Your role tonight is to hand Tamaki the ring when the time comes for them to exchange rings, as is Hiroko's. Mori and Hunny will be standing next to you, and you must be right next to Tamaki. Do you understand?" I nodded, repeating the information in my head over until I had memorized it. Kyoya turned to everyone else and went back over more of the details. Just by looking at him you could tell he was stressed out, thinking no one knew what was going on because there hadn't been a rehearsal, even though he tried to hide it. After a few minutes, I stopped listening to him talk, and just stared out the window as many familiar faces filed into the church last minute. I took me a second to realize that I recognized most of them from school, and many more of them from the Host Club. I turned back to the group.

"Wait. Do people at school know you're really a girl now?" I asked Haruhi. She nodded, a grim look on her face. I laughed.

"Well, the Host Club girls probably weren't too pleased to find out. It would have been hilarious if you hadn't told them you were a girl and then sent them an invitation to the wedding." Haruhi laughed along with me, and Tamaki smiled, suppressing his laughter. Kyoya gave a small smile before clearing his throat and getting everyone back on track.

"This will be done in a traditional style. Haruhi will stay back here and everyone else will wait at the altar. Ranka will walk her up the aisle while music is being played on a harp. The ceremony will be quick, only about 3 minutes. Remember, the reception will be down the street, in a ballroom specially outfitted for this occasion. The address was included in the invitations, so the guests shouldn't have trouble finding it. Now, we only have about 2 minutes, so places!" Kyoya said the last word in a shout and hurried off after making sure Haruhi and Ranka were set. I turned and waved to Haruhi, a bright smile on my face, before setting off down a back hallway to the front of the church where the alter was set up.

Once we entered, everyone quickly ended their conversations and looked up at us, all with the same expressions, a mixture of happiness, confusion over Haruhi's announcement, and a little anger from Tamaki's customers over having Tamaki stolen away from them. Just as soon as we were all set, the harp music started, and Haruhi walked in on her dad's arm. I couldn't help but think again of how stunning she looked in her dress, but I quickly shook the thoughts from my head, scolding myself on having thoughts like that on her wedding day. I looked up at Tamaki and could tell the same thoughts were running through his head.

When she reached the alter, Ranka let go of her arm somewhat reluctantly, but after reassuring smiles from both Tamaki and Haruhi, he let Tamaki take her hand and lead her up the steps. Kyoya cleared his throat.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Tamaki Suoh and Haruhi Fujioka." He said, his voice calm and even but still full of emotion. I could never understand how it was that he managed to sound like that. I listened to his calm, soothing voice as I thought of Tamaki and Haruhi and Kaoru and how I wished he could be here right now. Even though he had tried to set me up with Haruhi, I think he would be just as happy for them today as I am. I pushed thoughts of him out of my head before I could start getting upset over the memories. If I couldn't let myself be sad about it before I got here, there was no way I was allowed to look even the slightest bit of anything except extremely happy on the alter, in front of everyone.

Tamaki motioned for me to hand him the ring, and I quickly held out the golden wedding ring, emeralds embedded in the metal all the way around. I could tell no expense had been spared when planning out these rings. He had given her diamonds, sapphires, and now emeralds. _I bet her first anniversary present will be a necklace with a ruby,_ I thought, only half sarcastic. Tamaki took the ring and put it on her finger, his vows ringing out in a strong, clear voice that was full of his love for Haruhi.

"Haruhi," he said. "I vow to always be there for you. I want you to have the very best in the world because you are the very best in the world, and I consider myself the luckiest man alive to have found you. I have met many beautiful women," He said, guesturing out to the audience made up of many Host Club customers, making me almost roll my eyes. "yet, I have never come across one more beautiful then you. I vow to be the best I can be and to always love you." I could see a small blush cross Haruhi's face, and I smiled. Everything he had said came right from the depths of his heart. You could tell just by looking at him

Haruhi's voice was smaller and shyer, but not so much that she couldn't be heard well. "Tamaki," she started. "I vow to be the best wife I can. I want to be someone you can depend on, and I will never let you down. I want you to have the best things the world has to offer. I vow to make all your dreams come true. I vow to be the only one you will ever need. I vow to be the best I can be and to always love you." I noticed the ends of the vows were the same, and wondered if they planned it to be like that, or if the vows were also spontaneous and was something Haruhi had come up with to do when she heard the end. Her vows sounded like something she would say, that all she really wanted was to be someone who he could put his trust in.

Suddenly, I felt out of focus. All my emotions – my grief over Kaoru, my happiness for Haruhi and Tamaki, my confusion over what I really felt for Haruhi – became a blur. I felt tears rise, but I quickly blinked them away, not sure if they were tears of happiness or of sadness.

"I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." I heard Kyoya say, pulling me out of my thoughts. Everyone stood and clapped as Tamaki leaned down and kissed Haruhi softly, then held her hand as they descended down the alter steps, Mori, Hunny, Hiroko and I following a few seconds later. When I got out, Haruhi and Tamaki were thanking everyone for coming and giving last minute directions. I went to stand next to Kyoya, feeling like I would be intruding on Tamaki and Haruhi's moment if I went anywhere near them. _If only… If only Kaoru were here. _I couldn't stop myself from thinking. I felt tears coming, but didn't try to stop them as the last trickle of people came out. I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up, slightly startled. Kyoya stood next to me still, not looking me in the eye but still trying to be comforting. I could tell he hadn't been quite sure how to respond to my moment of emotion, but wanted to help in some way. He dropped his hand and walk away, over to Tamaki and Haruhi. I smiled at his retreating figure and wiped the rest of my tears of my cheeks, trying to make sure I didn't look as though I had been crying before following.

"Congrats, you two." I said when I reached them. Haruhi beamed up at me, looking happier then she had before the ceremony, if that was possible. Tamaki gave me a small smile.

"Well, we're leaving now. Can't be late to our own reception." Tamaki said, smirking at his bride. He turned back to me. "Do you want a ride, or are you going to drive your own car?"

"I'll take my own car. I'll be right there." Tamaki nodded and led Haruhi away to the limo that was waiting for them, Hiroko already inside. Kyoya, Mori and Hunny went to their respective cars and drove off, right behind them. I watched them drive down the street.

I turned and went to sit on the chapel steps and let the tears I had been trying to hold back all day cascade down my face. It was a happy day, I knew, and I shouldn't be sad, but I couldn't help it. Kaoru was gone, and he was never coming back. Today, a day he should have been here to see more than ever, the realization that I would never see him again hit me full on, harder than it ever had before. I wiped my eyes and stood, blinking a little. I looked up, and saw a boy, about my age, with red hair facing the street. My heart almost came to a complete stop when he turned around and I saw my face on his.

I didn't know what to think, what to feel. There wasn't any way Kaoru could be alive. I saw his body in the casket during his funeral. Then I noticed the flatness there was to his figure and a strange transparency, as though he wasn't really there. Confused, I took a step closer.

"I don't want you to be sad." Kaoru's figure said. "Think of the days we spent together and be happy. That's all I really want for you. Happiness." He looked at me, kindness and comfort in his eyes.

I still didn't understand what was going on. "Are you… really here?" I asked, reaching out my hand to touch him. He reached out, as if mirroring me. When his hand touched mine, I felt electicity, as though I had be shocked. I pulled my hand back, startled. He smiled.

"Please don't be sad." He said again. "I've been watching you. Sometimes you're okay, but you're still always sad. Too sad. Don't be. Please, just be happy again. Be the Hikaru I remember." He seemed to be pleading with me. I felt guilty all of the sudden, though I couldn't really explain why.

"I will." I said, almost in a whisper. "I won't be sad anymore, Kaoru. I promise." I said, feeling like it was true. He smiled at me, his eyes suddenly bright and happy. He walked toward me and enveloped me in a hug. I could feel his arms wrap around me. It was like he was really there, nothing like when I reached out to touch him. I hugged him back, burying my face in his shoulder.

"Thank you." He whispered. "I'm so happy." Suddenly, he was gone. I let my arms drop to my sides, feeling numb and empty. Suddenly, I remembered the reception and ran towards my car, hoping I hadn't taken too long. I jumped in and slowly started down the road.

_Please don't be sad._ I heard his voice echo inside my head. I smiled to myself.

"I won't. I promise."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm not sure if the characters in Ouran are actually Christian (I suspect not) but I don't know anything about Japanese weddings, so I made it a Christian wedding, which honestly I don't know too much about either. I may have gotten a few things backwards. If so, I'm sorry. <strong>

**Anyway, yeah, this is the last chapter. Thanks for sticking with me 'till the end.**


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